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Ask Yourself Better Questions

Ask yourself “Who Am I?” This is often the main query coming out of the mouths of self-growth leaders in workshops such as those offered by Landmark Education, International Black Summit and other groups.

I’m realizing the need to ask myself better questions has prompted a huge change in the way I view certain problems in my life. Especially recurring ones.

Yes — the better language is to call problems “challenges,” and to know, “this is only a test.”

As we are always healing in the quest to be healthy, I have lately been rethinking questions like, “Why did this happen to me?” and instead asking, “What is the lesson here?” Or the beauty or the love?

I am taking it further still, asking “What does this challenge say about where I am vs. where I think I am, and about my choices, beliefs and lifestyle?” 

These thoughts come to mind as I review my Facebook participation and wonder if better topics simply aren’t on my page or my friends just aren’t talking about the things I’d like to talk about.

In the book Nine Principles for Loving Living, I shared a story about how I arrived at the decision to “Ask the HARD questions.” I’m still working on feeling brave enough to do this consistently.

I also get the message that Facebook is great for snapshots of where people exist in their worlds. It’s a public square and necessary “field of study.”

But it is for me a challenge to discuss hard questions there and expect real shifts to occur from resultant talks. When I see people attempt to do so, it results in venom and poison. These types of exchanges,some with people I don’t know well, are not for me. They are not for the healing or the healthy.

I have been helped recently by the Summit’s inquiry, “As I embrace all aspects of myself, including rage and fear, what is available for the transformation of the universe?”

The courageous posing of this question is partly why I am feeling brave enough to make the statement that we can “Remove Slave/Master Syndrome Using Essential Oils,” and create a discussion around it. This generates these questions:

  1. What do you mean by “remove”?
  2. What is the slave/master syndrome?
  3. What can essential oils do, really?

To answer these question I’ve been brainstorming with the HealMobile Team members Bishara Wilson, Frank Gracia, Olga Barnwell-Gift, Sayy Pauly, Shakira Abdul-Ali* and Sheryl Glenn.

We’ll share the results of our asking better questions on Thursday Oct. 6, and you’re invited to join us at 8pm on zoom.us. 

–Rev. Niamo Nancy


Consider speaking with me about your “hard questions.” Maybe it’s time you considered a lifestyle change using some of the methods shared on this site. A conversation is easy to schedule (text (201) 966-1170) and I look forward to hearing from you.

*Shakira and I wrote the booklet,”Removing Post-Traumatic Slave Syndrome Using Essential Oils” back in 2010. It’s still available ($5 + S&H)